where does the pee come out of this thing
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
