Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
