he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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