Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
