Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want to make out with him forever
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize