Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
