Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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