This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
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This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage