I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
