I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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