im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
