allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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