how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
