Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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