brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
