She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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