physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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