I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
