They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
