Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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