I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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