Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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