how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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