I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
