yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize