jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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