DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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