i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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