I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
