i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
this just has baby written all over it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
