I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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