the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
