how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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