Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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