nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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