Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
