I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
