is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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