i think i have herpe
just one?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
