he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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