awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
