Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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