when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
