It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize