Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
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Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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