If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
