I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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