Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
