we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The ass gains better be worth it
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