I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have aggressive nipples.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
