His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
