He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
vagina is talking i cant
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
