Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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