is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
