Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
